I attended a Church for a few years before recently joining my husband’s church. When I moved to be with my husband, he gave me the address of his Church, saying go and see how it is. I didn’t go :). I went to another that originated from my Country, Nigeria. I managed to get my husband to come for a while but he stopped and continued going to his church. I started praying to God that my husband would eventually come with me. I didn’t want to leave my church because I was the head of children ministry and also a Teenager’s Sunday School Teacher. I was praying again one day when God said to me do you know the meaning of loyalty? By the way why are you praying that your husband should come to your church, why can’t you join him? I humbly sat down to reminisce about how it all started. And I concluded I have not been loyal. God also reminded me that it is pride to feel the Sunday School department will not move forward and do greater exploits, without me.

God also assured me it was time to move on. I have passed a stage and now is the time for my promotion. My promotion cannot happen until I move on to the next phase, for me. I moved on recently. I do not intend joining any ministry in my new Church but I am happy and our boys are also happy. However, I have seen what God meant by promotion. I have been elevated in various aspects of my life and I am grateful to God.

My experience reminded me of an event that happened in my home town many years ago.

An older woman walked into a salon I was having my hair done few years ago, the salon was so full there was nowhere to sit. The woman being an elderly woman (in my culture) have to sit down whilst someone younger give up her sit for her. No one was ready to do so and the owner of the salon shouted on her daughter to get up and allow the woman sit down.

I noticed immediately that the action of the mother to her daughter gave the elderly woman license to harass the daughter.

She started with “And before you do anything, go and get me water to drink, this heat is too much”.

“She continued children of these days are spoilt, do you have to tell her before she knows she should stand up”.

I remember vividly that I thought the elderly woman must be very close to the hair dresser to warrant such treatment of the hair dressers’ daughter but I found that was not the case as events unfold in the salon.

Now this is where I am going, I do not blame this elderly woman for insulting or harassing the daughter but I blame the mother. The elderly woman have simply assisted the hair dresser in what she knows how to do best which is harassing her own daughter. The daughter may have been on the wrong if I were to judge it based on our culture but I believe she should have been told gently by her mother. This is a form of loyalty.

This is the same with most of us, husband talking to the wife anyhow and vice-versa, parents to their children, forgetting that people watching will do the same thing you are doing to them. This is why you see some in laws not respecting their daughter or son in law. Parents!!! when people see you treat your children anyhow, they treat them the same. People show value towards what they know you value. Have you ever been in a situation where you want to buy a gift for someone and you are lost because you know what they are worth? Have you also been in a situation where you just think “who?” I will just get whatever I can find?

Think about it and retrace your steps. Always remember that actions gives birth to reactions, one day that husband or wife will snap, and one day the child may snap so I encourage you to treat your family with loyalty, treat them the way you would want them to treat you or the way you want other people to treat them for you.

Our loyalty is to our family first, this is what God expects from us, because loyalty is love.

To Your Transformation

Feyikemi