The popular saying is give respect to earn it. Better-still, I have heard respect others in order for them to respect you. They all mean the same thing and I have come with another phrase to it that means the same as others. And it is:

I will respect myself for others to respect me. It could also be expressed as  – I will give respect to myself to earn other people’s respect. You may agree with me that people treat us as they see us. When the opposite happens, i.e. you respect yourself and the other person you encounter does not respect you, then it is not on you. And it should not stop you from respecting yourself.

This way of putting it, is one of my many lessons from Covid 19 ongoing season. We are obliged to wear our mask when we go into the shops. I entered a grocery store at Covid 19’s peak but I did not pay attention to the markings on the floor. The attendant who saw me going in the direction of people coming out nearly shouted at me but I earnestly apologised, she calmed down and smiled at me saying, it is okay. My encounter with her reminded me of the scriptures that says “a soft answer turns away wrath“.

I mumbled to myself as I continued shopping “I have to be attentive to details at this time, everyone is on edge. I have to respect myself”. Since then, I ensured I am always with my mask. If I do not want anyone to walk me out of a shop or look at me disdainfully, I better wear my mask. If I do not want to be insulted in a shop, I have to pay attention to rules and follow them accordingly.

On one occasion, I saw a gentleman enter a shop with his handkerchief covering his nose and mouth, tied round to his neck, one of the shop attendant will not have it….. she asked him to please step outside, I reminded myself. I will respect myself. When I respect myself, I believe I am asking others to do the same to me.

I came across 9 effective strategies to practicing self-respect on liveyourtruestory.com and I particularly love number 2 and 8. Number 2 states: Consider your own feelings. This is why I choose to respect myself. I do not like to be looked at condescendingly, I do not like to be spoken to anyhow or be shouted at, therefore I decided if I respect myself when I have to, there will be no leverage from anyone. But it is important to note that it starts with me. 

Number 8 states: behave in ways  that shows you care. This means how we conduct ourselves is crucial to how people see us. To everyone apart from our very self, our conduct is a strong message to others of how we view ourselves, the moral values we carry and how we view others.

For emphasis, no matter how much you respect yourself, there are 2 or 3 people that will never be satisfied, therefore it is paramount to let you know that it is not on you.

To Your Transformation

Feyikemi